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  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by santa123fawr@hellokitty.com View Post
    That...was all very well wrote o.o;; I do have too much fear inside, which cloud's my judgement of things. Stereo types I hear of do not help, though. I'm not a huge collector of anything; I have a good sense not to get into that type of thing with the autism XD Though I do sometimes go a bit over board when we buy chocolate nutrition bars at the store :P I just cannot resist getting a whole bunch of those. I never like running out of them, haha.

    Again: Thank you Living in constant worry isn't good for my health. Even right now, I feel half dead after taking a simple nap Needing medications for my issues may be starting to kill me now.
    I was on anti-depressents in my late teens. I wound up having a seizure (supposedly lasting about 15 minutes, I don't remember a thing about it) and being in hospital. Afterwards, I became more strongly reactionary to noises and things; if that had an effect on my brain chemistry and wasn't just coincidental, then it has caused me a lot of issues. Since stopping them, I wonder why I was taking them as often as I was given I knew at the time they were having no effect.

    Those tablets certainly didn't do anything for me. I felt just as miserable with them as without them. You don't want to turn yourself into a slave to those types of things, especially at a young age. Often the 'gain' is also imagined. The placebo effect: you don't need to have a placebo for it to have a placebo effect. The same drugs do not always work for everyone, yet many people can imagine it is having an effect; they become dependent on it when they don't need to be. If it is really serious like controlling psychosis, of course stick with your prescription (somehow I don't think that is applicable to you). But if it is depression, be careful...

    You could probably find a happy spot if you started collecting. I say go for it, just be careful to not invade others spaces. How about Hello Kitty items?
    Last edited by dwayne2004@hellokitty.com; 08-23-2017 at 08:21 PM.

  2. #12
    Senior Member santa123fawr@hellokitty.com's Avatar
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by dwayne2004@hellokitty.com View Post
    I was on anti-depressents in my late teens. I wound up having a seizure (supposedly lasting about 15 minutes, I don't remember a thing about it) and being in hospital. Afterwards, I became more strongly reactionary to noises and things; if that had an effect on my brain chemistry and wasn't just coincidental, then it has caused me a lot of issues. Since stopping them, I wonder why I was taking them as often as I was given I knew at the time they were having no effect.

    Those tablets certainly didn't do anything for me. I felt just as miserable with them as without them. You don't want to turn yourself into a slave to those types of things, especially at a young age. Often the 'gain' is also imagined. The placebo effect: you don't need to have a placebo for it to have a placebo effect. The same drugs do not always work for everyone, yet many people can imagine it is having an effect; they become dependent on it when they don't need to be. If it is really serious like controlling psychosis, of course stick with your prescription (somehow I don't think that is applicable to you). But if it is depression, be careful...

    You could probably find a happy spot if you started collecting. I say go for it, just be careful to not invade others spaces. How about Hello Kitty items?
    I don't need to collect anything XD I have a major crush on a pokemon girl named korrina, and she is my happy place She just helps me soooo much. I may even get over some expression phobias just so my daydreams of her keep staying fun and develuping in happy ways for me ^_^ I should show you a picture sometime, you may find her very cute, as well. So far no one has seriously picked on me for liking another female (unless its cuz she may be 'under age'. but never really for the fact that she is a character who is female :P).

    I have read people can get scary mean over homosexuality, though. So i should be very careful who I tell my crush on Korrina to in real life and overall outside of the internet. Its good, for now, that I don't usually get out a lot. As my crush is pretty huge and after awhile i could end up blurting it out to like anyone :x

    My mom and brother both know the crush very well (afterall; how can i resist talking about her in my own house, if she's litterally always on my mind?) and are very nice to me about it. My mom has even thumbs uped one drawing i've shown her, like she's aware i see korrina as 'mrs. right' and wants to encourage me to enjoy her more. Its really cool



    Also, since this year has started, and especially my wonderful crush on miss korrina, I haven't really been needing medications on a daily basis anymore. :P Or I just take some meds in a day and not all of them. So overall i'm improving. I rarely ever get depressed anymore either. Life has been treating me really kindly I sometimes still have unexplained anxiety attacks, though. But thats only cuz i've never really worked on keeping calm a lot when i was younger. But i do more so now. And sometimes when i'm feeling super calm it makes me feel sleepy cuz my brain doesn't quite know how to handle it any other way XD

    And here is an official artwork of korrina;
    http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/...20160122184125
    She is beautiful, isn't she? To me she is the hottest and cutest character ever right now, and has been for 5 months so far, and i plan on loving her for much much longer than that too lol. Having had such a crush on her, it amazes me how for like over 20 years, I really seemed to only like males. Cuz it turns out i'm actually bi. However, one friend of mine told me some people don't learn they like the same gender till like age 50. So....compared to a 50 year old, i'm still pretty young. Still amazing how much of a crush i have on her though XD

    I've made a lot of new online friends through my crush on her too As her being tomboyish and training of fighting type pokemon has helped me tollerate that fact that the net as a whole seems to like 'boy' things a lot. Which is a thing that made me struggle with making new friends a ton; as I have always been a very girly girl and thus struggle to relate to non girly people and things as a result. Even when I crushed on males in the past, these struggles were very real. I think korrina being female helps me find more relating to stuff like that now. As in the past, i was gennerally a 'fan' of female characters more-so than 'crushed' on them. So i'm pretty much a fan of her character too as well as crushing on her a lot ^_^ She help's me believe in the powers of being a girl more, too. Its really nice. Did you know she won 100 pokemon battles in a row in the pokemon anime? Its true. She's a freakishly talented and strong pokemon trainer.
    Last edited by santa123fawr@hellokitty.com; 08-24-2017 at 10:00 AM.
    I AM Santa123fawr

    I have a crush on Korrina from Pokemon x and y that....i feel i need to tell the whole net about cuz it's real big and stuff o.o;

    My gender is irrelevant, have a nice day now.
    And I didn't make my awesome av :3 xD

  3. #13
    I do not find drawn characters appealing, not since I was a kid, anyway. I understand why you like to hone in on the one thing and not branch out. For many years, all I listened to was Nino Rota.

  4. #14
    I guess guys tend to look at pictures more sexually than women. Women look at pictures in terms of how cool a person is, how they effect them emotionally. So I think I understand the appeal of drawn people in maturity from that perspective a bit better. Some cartoon characters have sexy voices, though. Not many and can't think of any off hand. Many have child-like voices and they are not them, but whenever it is found the appeal of a sexy voice usually does not wane until you're much older.

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by shumibiggi@mymelody.com View Post
    I know what stress, anxiety and worrying can do to someone's body. My life was a hell since my birth but the past years have been worst with each day being worst than the previous one. It started by me having PTSD and triggers in addition of all my mental problems and now it has started to affect me physically too.
    I have over my life only had one serious tooth issue on my left side, but in the last few months up to 4 teeth have started to become problematic on my right side. Some of it I suspect is from stress, with me grinding my teeth a lot.

    I also have heart issues. Last year, I went through a lot of nights when my heart beat was in excess of 300 bpm. This is and isn't impossible, there are two chambers to the heart and the one that produces what is normally regarded as the pulse rate is the lower chamber and that is restricted to a max beat of around 240 bpm. But the upper chamber can beat in excess of 300 bpm (not dangerously; carries an increase risk of stroke, but not normally heart attack), and is know as atrial flutter and when it quivers (as it also did me) atrial fibrillation.

    But there was about a week where I constantly awoke within a minute of sleep and it seemed different. One of those events I called a helicopter heart. It was unique to the events I got over several months. It is impossible to count 300 bpm, I ticked it into a mic on my laptop and looped over it many times to count the beats in a second and found that not only was it over 300 bpm, but I couldn't tick fast enough. In some instances, an atrial flutter rate can carry over to the ventricles and cause a pulse rate as high as 440 bpm (the 300 bpm rate usually given to atrial flutter is an average of the range 200-400 bpm) and I wonder if that didn't happen to me that night a year ago.

    There is talk of an adult limit to the heart rate, but I believe it is an average sustainable limit. I believe the heart rate can peak at over 300 bpm in spurts, but it can't sustain it. If it continues for long, it will cause a heart attack if it is the ventricle rate. Some of my beats caused me to bounce up and down in my bed, but I do not have high blood pressure. It is normal-optimal. I'm not sure if you can hear your atrial rate and bounce up and down to the atrial rate but got 3 different measuring devices using 3 different methods and my racing heart wasn't pick up on any of them (but all 3 showed curious signs of possible heart stoppages followed by brief surges, which I take to be glitches but I don't know).

    I also awake screaming on loop 3 particular words I won't post here. It's almost never associated with nightmares. It's just instinct, and it's uncontrollable: I do not have control of my voice box. It's often connected with my waking heartbeat...
    Last edited by dwayne2004@hellokitty.com; 08-25-2017 at 05:20 PM.

  6. #16
    Senior Member shumibiggi@mymelody.com's Avatar
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    I grind my teeth too, when asleep and awake too. Lots of my enamel is gone and thankfully so far so major issues with this and barely any pain. But I do know tooth pain, had a wisdom teeth at the bottom left that only came half out and it finally had a huge cavity, took a while before getting it and the one above out (was asleep for that). But since that I have in addition gum recession I have to be more careful. One started to hurt a while after I got up this morning, it seems to come where the gum is, not a lot of pain so hopefully it won't get worst.

    I have had a few times heart palpitations when trying to fall asleep and once it was so fast and loud I thought I was having a heart attack. It happens when awake too, something will scare me and my heart will beat fast but it is not palpitations.

    Wednesday night I finally had a normal night of sleep after more than eleven months of insomnia but last night back to insomnia.
    If you fall, I'll be there. - Floor

  7. #17
    Coincidences like to mess with my mind. After having my helicopter heart and week of 300 bpm heart rates, and during my 3 months of similar beats that I now believe to be atrial flutter/fibrillation, I bought a watch with a finger tip pulse rate detection. It was a second-hand Mio watch that I got for dirt cheap on ebay, I think about $3 AUD after P+H (I later gifted the seller a few more dollars because I felt like I practically stole it from him). Most of the measurements were sound. My average resting heart rate was reported at around 100 bpm, which is borderline concerning and most people I hear average around 75 bpm. But what got me was one measurement of something like 227 bpm, followed by something really low, I believe around 40 bpm. As these things calculate the beat over a matter of time, it could be that my heart rate stopped for half that time and the surged for the over half to produce the 40 bpm. So I theorized it might have been possible that my heart stopped and then surged.

    Maybe it was just a glitch? Then why did it happen again a few seconds later? It wasn't as drastic, but I got a rate of I think 187 followed by maybe 60. I took hundreds of measurements and never again or before saw this, so it seems unlikely that it would happen to glitch almost back to back like that.

    So I bought a Polar FT7, which detects the heart rate through a strap on the chest and relays it to a watch through radio transmission. It showed the same thing; my average rest rate and sleeping rate was around 100 bpm. Once again, in the main it didn't show these readings, but when I was active I got numerous readings of 0 beats followed by over 200 heart beats. I think it was a glitch in the transmission of data. I experimented around with it and it seemed to indicate that, but the thing is I couldn't replicate these glitches as hard as I tried when I was getting normal readings.

    So there was still a question, and I bought a wrist blood pressure monitor with heart rate detector. It showed surprisingly my blood pressure was normal to optimal, and agreed with the average heart rate. I don't believe I got any drastic numbers (it can't calculate beyond 180 bpm anyway), but there is a light that shows the heart rate on the display and when I moved around I was getting bleeps where my heart was stopping and surging. You're not suppose to move when using these machines, so I did misuse it so it could still be a glitch.

    Where all of these readings just coincidences? I don't know, but it is quite probable as that's the way things tend to happen with me. I did try to take manual measurements with my fingers and wrist, but curiously it was too faint to detect when I was getting these readings despite being able to measure my pulse before and after.

    When I was playing basketball when I was about 15, I had a massive pain hit to my chest. My legs collapsed from beneath me and I dragged myself to the side of the court with my arms, which were incredibly weak and also in a great deal of pain. I curled up into a ball and no one gave a **************** as usual. It continued for at least 15 minutes and about 30 minutes later I could barely walk, it felt like my knees wanted to fold in half at the knees. I was told it was 'hitting the wall' but I don't believe that at all. I have never seen an athlete in pain after 'hitting the wall'. Heart issues can effect you when you're young if you have heart abnormalities. They took the lives of basketballers Reggie Lewis and Hank Gathers. I also had issues with a wild heart rate in my early 20s which would cause me to lose balance and topple to the ground.

    One of us was born with a 'hole in the heart'. My mother thinks it was one of my brothers, but it wouldn't be the first time she was mistaken. Most atrial flutters are connected with high-blood pressure and I don't have that.

    If it were an issue with my heart, the price of a pace maker is too high and unacceptable. Maybe using these words 'emotional cruelty' is me being a drama queen and not having a proper perspective of the true horrors that happen in the world, but I am often not terribly happy and there is no love in my life to justify the expense. So maybe I am better off not knowing...

    (Heart stoppages are normal, but only if you have a low heart rate. If you have 40 bpm when in sleep, as many people can, that is missing a beat every second and a half. If you miss a beat of 3 seconds in that context, it is not a problem. If your heart rates drops from 100 bpm and then suddenly misses 3 seconds, it is more concerning.)
    Last edited by dwayne2004@hellokitty.com; 08-26-2017 at 05:46 PM.

  8. #18
    A note about the helicopter heart incident: one of the reasons why I call it a helicopter heart is that when I awake after than minute of sleep, often my heart rate starts slowly and then begins climbing. It is weird. When I had the helicopter heart, it done just that and was increasingly as if there was no ceiling. I knew from past such heart incidents that if I sat up in bed, I could curve these esculations, which is what I done. But it felt truly freaky. I think it must've been over 400 bpm: clear bpm, not quivers which I got later. And it felt like it was going to explode had I not sat up!

    I didn't think a human heart could beat like that. It was like a birds heart beat. As I got a week of these helicopter hearts just after sleeping with one being truly disturbing, I actually became afraid to sleep.

    These rising helicopter beats tend to flare up when I awake 'yelling'. Normally I will say the 3 words, then it gets faster and faster as the heart rate increases and I may not get out full words but still start over and over until it dies down again. I know what the 3 words mean. They were a chant I had whipping around my head around 2013. They're recalled by instinct.

    So even though I awake many times with a fast heart rate, the most concerning ones are when my heart rate rises just after awaking, and may not be a trigger to me awaking. And once again, it's not nightmares. I usually don't have enough time to enter REM mode. I remember a huge amount of my dreams, but seldom ever remember dreams accompanying these heart surges.
    Last edited by dwayne2004@hellokitty.com; 08-26-2017 at 09:02 PM.

  9. #19
    Senior Member santa123fawr@hellokitty.com's Avatar
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    I love Hello Kitty XD She's so cuddly looking ^_^ I'd give her hugs if she was real

    That said, I don't know what else to add to this thread. Sort of....is losing its purpose and people are just like talking about health problems in it and stuff :/ Felt stating my fandom for what this forum really is meant to be about would encourage more positivity in this thread. I still really don't want to see this place kick the bucket. Even if it kind of seems pointless at this point. Oh well.

    EDIT: Maybe i'll try to make some sanrio related threads on here sometime today. It may encourage more sanrio related conversation XD
    ....
    (okay......would it be strange and creepy to hug a child-like humanoid animal? even if said hugs were completely innocent and only were done so 'cuz said animal was really cute and lovable?)(it had to be asked...)
    Last edited by santa123fawr@hellokitty.com; 08-27-2017 at 02:32 PM.
    I AM Santa123fawr

    I have a crush on Korrina from Pokemon x and y that....i feel i need to tell the whole net about cuz it's real big and stuff o.o;

    My gender is irrelevant, have a nice day now.
    And I didn't make my awesome av :3 xD

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