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Thread: Rainbows!!! :d

  1. #21
    I couldn't care less about my father now. It's like I never even had one. All these TV shows that show a happy reunion with a child and their deadbeat dad gone missing for ~20 years... writers wishful thinking and a little insulting too! He missed some turbulent years of my life. Kids who have been that long estranged simply do not consider him/her a factor of their lives, and almost like they never even existed. If by some miracle I am left in his will, even if I'm desperate for cash I don't know that I would want a strangers money in that fashion... Probably won't be, though. His non-biological kids will probably get it. His is alive, last I heard but who knows what has transpired since. May be already dead.

  2. #22
    Senior Member shumibiggi@mymelody.com's Avatar
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    If he does leave you something give it all to a charity that helps abandoned kids.

    I know it sounds crazy but I often wished (still do) that my parents physically abused me instead. I was bullied at school but when it became physical I immediately stopped it so I know if they would of done it to me I would of left them when very young. They used to have a few good inside them but on November 9 2009 we moved to Ste-Florence and after that they decided to completely be evil. I had 16000$ but they slowly stole it from me so I had no money to leave (lost my job in july of 2009 and have not found 1 yet but since moving here i have not looked) then one September night in 2014 someone or some people set our house on fire and we lost everything (i was able to save my 4 musketeers which are a teddy bear bought for me before my birth + an elmo + a duck + a cabbage patch doll) and I escaped with only a pajama. They were able to give me back my savings after the insurance paid them and then gave me a small portion of it (they were generous for the house but not for our material things - i had at least 50000$ worth of stuff in that house). So now I have 28000$ in a safe with an hidden key (had more than 30000$ but i had to start a new wardrobe) so if I am careful I could set a lot aside for my old age and also get an apartment fully furnished by myself, the fastest I would find a job the more would be left for later. So if they pick a house that they will be able to afford and one where we would have each a closed room for ourselves then I could follow and get more money. Anyway I may decide soon to get out before this house is for sale which is supposed to be at the end of this month. I do not want them to know where I am so since I live with them and they rarely are both out of the house it will be difficult especially since here the buses and trains come here after midnight so they may get the idea of going there to get me before I leave.
    If you fall, I'll be there. - Floor

  3. #23
    Really awful about the fire and parents. I am also being taken for a ride, but I think I should cut my story short here for the sake of this kid-friendly forum. I don't think it has cost me as much as it has you financially yet. It is often used to torment me, too. Have you ever seen Memories of Matsuko? It is made for people like you. Literally, it's about a frequently battered woman and how a life can spiral over jealousy. But symbolically, it's about well meaning people being mistreated until the end and the downtrodden generally. I have not been a good person, but it sounds like you have been a good daughter yet I sympathize deeply on some level with that film. It is almost spiritual...
    Last edited by dwayne2004@hellokitty.com; 07-16-2017 at 05:44 PM.

  4. #24
    Senior Member shumibiggi@mymelody.com's Avatar
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    I will check it out.

    My parents could be used as a perfect example of who should never have kids. The worst in all that I had a brother who dies March 23 2000 and that did not woke them up in any way but it is not a surprise because you cannot have a conscience when you abuse your own kids so they could not change even after his death.
    If you fall, I'll be there. - Floor

  5. #25
    Sorry to hear about your brother.

    One thing that sucks about not knowing about one or both of your parents are whether or not you might be genetically predisposed to certain conditions. I don't know if my father got closed-angle or any other form of glaucoma, for instance. You'd think you could flip that around and wonder if he doesn't care about giving health warnings back to his children, whom he knows exactly where they live (we never moved from when he last saw us). Either he didn't have anything worth noting over the years or he is just a twit. I think he is just a twit... We didn't contact him, mind you. We forgot he even existed. I am a severe phone phobic, which might have to do with select mutism or something of that nature (I was called 'Silence of the Lambs' as a kid because of my inability to speak and it took me months to write to my cousellor before I could do more than just nod my head) so that wasn't something I was necessarily able to do but my brothers didn't either.
    Last edited by dwayne2004@hellokitty.com; 07-17-2017 at 06:33 PM.

  6. #26
    Senior Member shumibiggi@mymelody.com's Avatar
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    People who do those things have no remorse because they have no conscience. This is why it is insane that so many people want criminals to live in prison instead of killing them, they think that they will have to think about what they did every day but they do not care, some even go as far as saying they should have pictures of their victims in their cell which they would probably use to pleasure themselves.

    So yes you are better off without your dad and I will be better off when I will cut my parents out of my life!
    If you fall, I'll be there. - Floor

  7. #27
    The world is a yin and yang place. We all climb to the top of the world not caring about who we are treading on, then when it comes to bite us we think this 'evilness' comes out of nowhere. It doesn't. Abuse is normally targetted to innocent victims who have no blame for what has happened to previous generations, it is disproportionate and this shocks us. But I firmly believe we collectively make our own heroes and villains, and often the heroes are villains and villains heroes and often times it's a matter of perspective about which is which, and it is not always the victimized who goes on to become the villain but the 'bully' who goes on to esculate his sense of superiority. It's our little perpetual motion machine: the good guys need the bad guys, because without one or the other, we'll become lifeless drones, too afraid to take a step in case we step on an 'ant'.

    The human race (save those who are too young to have been poisoned by it, if there is such an age eg. school yard bullies) is thoroughly detestable. I like playing the victim, but I also have to admit that I am far from perfect and do have some bad thoughts from time to time, and some of my own experiences are partly my own fault. As an atheist, I believe all life is a system of cogworks and society is a science. If you're going to systematically dispense of the 'bad guys', learn a lesson from what makes those people and how to save lives and victims in the future, don't just be condemned to repeating it forever.

    That's my opinion on the death penalty. But there is some more to consider, including the fact that the US executed only 20 people in 2016 while it has 2,900 on death row, which would take 145 years to purge. Of course, they'll all be dead by then anyway but from natural causes... We tend to shun welfare for non-criminals, and I do find it odd that we embrace this notion of what essentially amounts to welfare for people who do go onto commit crimes. Why should the homeless rely on the uncertainty of charity when prisoners have a guaranteed bed, roof over their head and 3 meals a day? And it costs a LOT more, too! I believe $100,000 plus per prisoner, per year. But to make purging the prison population a possibility, you'd need to fast track the appeals process and get the costs of those way down as I believe the amounts to a worse cost than execution.

    Either society takes a good hard look at itself or it changes direction on the death penalty, imprisonment is a worse burden than keeping people out in the first place.

    I don't know if I really remember my father in my first 6 years. I can kind of picture a person talking to my mother when my dog was going to get put down, but can unearth no memories from the first 6 years, which I gather is fairly common. My father divorced my mother at that age and saw us maybe once a month for the next year or so. I remember more from that next year than prior. I remember not having energy to move. I think he took my brothers places but I curled up on the carpet. I remember being brought home by him, getting fast food once or twice, possibly going to the drive in once. I remember going VHS hunting with him, him getting us movies (we didn't have much to say and it probably took 5 minutes) and him not watching the movie with me. I have some memories that suggest possible abuse, but I don't want to doctor a context to it from incomplete memories.

    Never sporting events, never concerts, never any real memories.
    Last edited by dwayne2004@hellokitty.com; 07-20-2017 at 04:41 PM.

  8. #28
    One of my favourite films is Paris, Texas, which is a real irony. It is about a father who abandons his kid and wife and finds himself in a pretty random destination. Some of it seems to suggest dissociative fugue. Why does he leave them? It isn't revealed until later, and I won't spoil it but it isn't exactly something that would endear you to the character. He is just like my father. And I don't care because it's a good film. But what makes it good? I just don't know... Maybe because it puts a human side to this figure who would leave his child and his childs mother to fight alone, which I need to believe exists? I don't know...

    Brain, go take a break. <Checks to see brain isn't looking> Good film.

  9. #29
    Senior Member shumibiggi@mymelody.com's Avatar
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    If the criminals would get what they did to their victims or they would be put in laboratories to be tested on or the prisons would actually be punishments then there would be less criminals.

    Ironically I am all over the internet saying that and when I talk about prisons being punishments I always say by having them work to deserve what they get (roof + shower + water + food + everything needed in 1 day - parts of their days work could be for that and the rest for extra food or internet time or tv or health care or clothes or time off or whatever) and this is what gave me the most insults and threats. Yes because apparently for us having to work to have a home and food and electricity and water and clothes and soaps and internet and anything else we want is okay but when it has to do with criminals this becomes torture.

    The human species is absolutely sickening and evil. We are also worthless, even the best things we have done and all the good we can do is erased by what we did, are doing and will do to our planet and the living beings on it.

    If I am alive when we will disappear I will be happy especially if I get to see many people die before me.
    If you fall, I'll be there. - Floor

  10. #30
    I can understand the sentiment about wanting to see the world come to an end. I wish it were instantaneous, though, I don't want to see people or animals suffer. I have actually seen plenty of it. I've seen some of the most brutal stuff courtesy of the internet. I know what sick and twisted things happen and people are capable of, and some of them I'd like to dispose of with my own hands. I am not entirely ignorant, but if someone I loved for instance was taken away from me or even their innocence taken away I could imagine being in your shoes. I don't know how I would cope with the hatred inside.

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